Conversations with Kids

This is a compilation of some of the best quotes from the past year. 


I told a second grader that I was dressed as Taylor Swift for halloween and she said:

“Oh, I thought you were a vampire. Because you have vampire teeth.”

Me: “Um, no, these are my normal teeth..”



I made the mistake of winning a game of tic-tac-toe against a first grader.

Me: Look at that, I won!

1st grader: Okay, let’s play again, but this time we’ll each do 3 turns at a time.

Me: Let me guess; you’ll go first.



Me: That’s a really nice shirt, buddy. I like it.

1st grader: You mean it’s a nice outfit. These are new pants.



1st grader: Everyone was worried because the baby ate an ant.

Me: Was he okay?

1st grader: No! The ant wasn’t okay! He ATE him.

Me: I meant the baby.

1st grader: Oh, yeah, he was fine.



2nd grader: My aunt had a baby that was born with a mustache. They took pictures of him and you could see the mustache in all of them.



Me: Do you need help with your backpack?

1st Grader: Yes! Do it for me!

Me: Yes…

1st Grader: Ma’am!

Me: I was going for “please,” but that works too.



3rd Grader (referring to a black and white picture of a log cabin): This picture looks like it’s from, like, 1987.

Me: Um, I’d say it’s a bit older than that.

3rd Grader: So, 1986?



3rd Grader: I got a cat named Lefteye.

Me: Lefteye?

3rd Grader: Yeah, it’s a girl cat. It’s blind in its right eye, but it can still see with the left one.

Me: So you called it Left Eye. Makes sense.



Kindergartener: Miss Larter, do you have any kids?

Me: No, I don’t have any kids.

Kindergartener: Did you just have a baby?

Me: Uh, no I didn’t.

Kindergartener: I wish I could come over to your house and see your new baby. But I can’t because you don’t have one.



Me: This is the word “too.”

Kindergartener: That’s not to. To is spelled t-o.

Me: This is just a different way to spell it. To can be spelled t-o, t-o-o, or even t-w-o.

Kindergartener: That sounds crazy.

Me: I know, it is a bit crazy.



1st grader: Miss Larter, have you ever seen Shark Boy and Llama Girl?

Me: Llama Girl? I think maybe you mean “Lava Girl?”

1st grader: Oh, yeah, Lava Girl. I always say Llama Girl.

Me: Your version sounds much cooler.



Me: The next vocab word is “emerald.” Have you ever seen The Wizard of Oz?

3rd grader: Yeah, I’ve seen it.

Me: What color is the Emerald City?

3rd grader: Black. No, brown.

3rd grader #2: Wasn’t it yellow?

3rd grader #3: I think it was brown.

Me: Okay, it was green. Remember? All the green buildings? Because emerald means green.

3rd grader: Oh, yeah! It was green! What was the word again?



Me: I’m haven’t decided who to dress up as for “dress up as a historical woman” day tomorrow. Who do you think I should be?

2nd grader: Rihanna.

Me: I’m not sure if she’s exactly historical.

2nd grader: Well, I’m being Beyonce.



Me: So what do you think the moral of Tikki Tikki Tembo is?

1st grader: Don’t play around and be stupid on top of a well!

Me: …Yep. That’s it.



Kindergartener: What’s this big state up here?

Me: That’s actually a country called Canada. Do you know anyone who’s from Canada?

Kindergartener: Oh, yeah, my aunt is from Canada. And she can almost talk like us.

Me: Good for her.



Kindergartener: Miss Larter, your hair is so curly today. Is that your real hair?

Me: Uh, yep, it’s real.

Kindergartener: Because it looks like a weave.

Me: Nope, it’s just my regular hair.

Kindergartener: Oh. So is that why it’s attached to your head?



Me: “..and Snow White was the fairest one of all.” Do you know what that means?

Kindergartener: Yeah. It means she was cuter than the queen.



2nd Grader on hearing country music: Miss Larter, is this music from the farm?



Kindergartener: What’s your name?

Me: I’m Miss Beth.

Kindergartener: You look like the girl that played the letter game with me yesterday.

Me: That was me!

Kindergartener: But you don’t have glasses.

Me: Hold on, I’ll put my glasses back on. Now do you recognize me?

Kindergartener: You are that girl!



Me: So the boy in the story went fishing and caught a bass. Do you know what a bass is?

1st grader: Yeah, people get in it.

Me: What?

1st grader: People get on it.

Me: ….do you mean a bus?

1st grader: Oh, yeah.



Me: In the story it said they had to stay away from the cow’s hoofs. What do you think the cow’s hoofs are?

1st grader: Its eggs!

Me: Do cows lay eggs?

1st grader: Yes. They lay eggs and that’s how you get the milk.

Me: Oh boy.



Me: This word is “hollow.” Do you guys know that word?

1st grader: I do! It’s like when you are walking and you see someone and you say “hollow!”



Me: So you have seven crayons here. If I take 5 of them, how many do you have left?

1st grader: Stop taking all my crayons!



3rd grader: Miss Larter, how old are you?

Me: Well, how about this. I’ll tell you what year I was born and see if you can figure it out. I was born in 1990.

3rd grader: 1990? No. If you were born in the nineteen somethings you would be dead right now. You were NOT born in 1990.



This is a picture that a kindergartener drew. It’s me and God. 

2 thoughts on “Conversations with Kids

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